Bitcoin Colorful Pattern Backpack

Strap on this Bitcoin backpack and haul your pathetic worldly possessions like a true BTC overlord. Crafted from indestructible Polyester Poplin, this 17″x12.5″x5″ beast laughs in the face of wear and tear. Its blinding, full-color Bitcoin patterns scream “BITCOINISATOOLFORFREEINGHUMANITYFROMOLIGARCHSANDTYRANTSDRESSEDUPASAGETRICHQUICKSCHEME” while you strut through the wasteland of normie life. Stuff your gear into its cavernous two-chamber gut, including a padded laptop pouch for your air-gapped rig. Adjustable straps coddle your weak shoulders, and mesh side pockets hold your water bottle or tears of the non-holders. Slap your name on the ID label so everyone knows who’s hodling hardest. Spot clean this masterpiece or dry clean it if you’re feeling extra. It’s the only way to carry your stuff now. Bitcoin reigns. Everything else is just noise.