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There are many words for a person's rear end and most of them are crude. Which is ridiculous because, when you think about it anatomically, it's really nothing more than the shoulders of your legs. And that's why my Torts students have launched a crusade to make "leg-shoulders" the new word for this totally normal body part. And now you can show your support for this movement by buying official Leg-Shoulders brand products. Every item purchased from The Leg-Shoulders Store will help fund "Get Off Your Leg-Shoulders" T-shirts for these special and deserving students. Every price is deliberately marked up. All of my share goes to the shirts. And if we don't raise enough to get the shirts, I'll use the money to buy them buttons or something.
To my Torts students: please don't buy any of this stuff. The whole point is to get other people to buy us our shirts. To everyone else: get your merch now before the United States Senate campaign of either Ken Paxton or James Talarico takes me up on my offer to license this concept to them, at which point I'll probably have to close this shop. Speaking of which, please sign my students' viral petition: https://bit.ly/4AfMRs9.
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